apparently i was offering everyone ambien and shouting, it's only like heath ledger if you want it to be!
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
I have a pocket in my purse that is just for condoms and cocktail swords. I feel like that speaks volumes about me as a person
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
I just used the proceeds from selling my ex's engagement ring to fund my first date with another girl.
I deserve this hangover.
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
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