I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
I want to jerk off but my dog won't leave me alone. It's the most depressing cock block ever.
I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
also i think i should join the bone marrow registration when im sober
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
Just walked into your room to get my clothes and he's still passed out in your bed. Remind me to high five you when you get home
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
I managed to convince her that the egg yolks were actually orange juice and she fell for it
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