when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
To drunk to make oatmeal. I'm pouring it into my mouth and gargling it with beer. Ive made maple brown sugar bud light
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
Get this. Chipped my front tooth taking a sip of a gay mans beer out of my cleavage. Fuck my fucking life. that'll be fun to explain to my dentist
Apparently she broke up w/ her bf like 3 weeks ago. She actually called me to be her bday hookup cause she's single now. Patience- the virtue that occasionally pays off.
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
In Punta Cana for my bachelor trip, hopefully tomorrow my passport is blacklisted
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
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