Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
Just got a orange juice for my grandma, put gin in it without thinking. She's having a good morning.
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
I got back from work this morning after working the night shift to find an NFL player scaling the side of our apartment...from your window. He just took sneaking out to all new level. Care to explain?
I think that about sums it up, actually.
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
Randomize
