end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
I'm mortified. After he finished, he turned to me and said,"So, what did you think of my mom?" WTF Please tell me he was not wondering about that while he was going down on me!!!
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
It's like that thing with the devil and the angel except one shoulder has orgasms and the other has stuffed crust pizza and depression.
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
His cat just sat there and simultaneously bobbed his head up and down while I blew him
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
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