Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
You look just like Jennifer Aniston on food.
he designed a suit out of pillows to protect himself when he fell.
engineering majors are such efficient drunks.
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
Easy Mac is falling out of my sweatshirt as I'm walking down the street.
Don't ask me how or why, but I'm drunk with German diplomats. Come over. Now
I'm cuddling with a baby pig and drinking champagne right now.
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
He was like Sweeney Todd... But, without the killing people part.
So... He's a barber?
No. He's got crazy hair, and a revenge fetish. But he's hot. Does that make up for it?
I went home with a guy last night because he showed me some magic tricks and kept shouting "THEY'RE ILLUSIONS MICHAEL!"
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
He came to my Harry Potter marathon wearing a Hogwarts uniform. Of course I fucked him.
Like actually I will be single and sad and lonely for ever. Cheese will be my life partner. Robot sex is my future.
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
Randomize
