So I thought I was slick leaving his room this morning all incognito. Little did I know I was wearing his football jersey with his name across the back... stilettos & my bra was left behind. never seeing that again
My parking ticket this morning was 30bucks. I feel like I'm paying the city to fuck you.
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
There is soup leaking out of my nose nothing in life has prepared me for this moment
He was more tolerable with alcohol in my system. I woke up to him squeezing me and telling me how he wanted to dip me in strawberry jam.
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
I moved out... There's nothing left but his childhood trophies...
You should make him a new one, you know like "you suck at relationships but thanks for trying participation award"
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
You're even getting laid in my dreams, god I'm a good wingman
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
Randomize
