He just turned on a sound machine. I need to get the fuck out of here.
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
I either have a razor blade lodged in my throat or I've been drinking entirely too much Evan Williams.
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
I'm so baked, I spent the last hour trying to screencapture the cracks on my phone.
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
Randomize
