My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
just bailed mom out of jail. Tell me i'm not the favorite child
when i'm drunk i think im just gonna point at him and yell adultery is a sinnnn. youre going to helllll
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
my mom was in labor with me for 32 hours, it's only fair to start drinking now.
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
She called a 10 year old handsome and we gave her a look that was equal parts confused and “what the hell is wrong with you”
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