I can't find my pants or my car
I didn't even hookup I think I took them off at taco bell...
ha omg I always lose my dignity at taco bell as well... so no big deal.
Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
Dude why does my asshole itch so bad?
I'll teach you how to wipe better
you turned your livingroom into a bong?
I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
What's more awkward than your little brother in law screaming, "I SAW YOUR TITTIES" at the breakfast table?
His step dad chiming in on the jokes.
She crossed her eyes and threw up into a glass while sitting at the bar. It was fifty shades of sketchy dude.
Being able to fart in my own house is like 90% of why I pay rent
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
I legit just quacked out loud at a duck on campus. Realized after that there were people around me, they looked at me funny...
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
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