This girl is more easily done than said...
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
I cant help but love a girl who informs me of the pregnancy test results by emailing me a YouTube clip of Barney Stinsons not a fathers day speech.
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
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Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
The bartender just asked me if I owned stock in Jameson. I've been here for less than an hour and he's already judging me.
I'm in the city buying alcohol. I just got warned by a homeless man on the street that I shouldn't look so pretty "in these parts"
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
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I just threw up vodka and hot dogs in a handicapped stall with someone in it who couldn't make me leave because he couldn't walk.
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
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