Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
i woke up this morning in my bathroom,naked, with my boxers around my face and puke and shit on the floor and wondering why i didn't have a toenail on my one big toe.
compared to you, a hobo is quite responsible.
Too much gin, very little bucket
Found her in the closet eating mayo out of the jar with a knife
You tried feeding my python vodka through a funnel. Fuck off.
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
I accidentally flashed three cops last night. Stone cold sober.
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
I love you but this is the first Saturday I have ever spent at the police station. And where are my boxers?
Would it be inappropriate to meet you at the airport after your family vacation so I can tell you all about the amazing sex I have been having?
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
Randomize
