i told him i was on my period. he said, and i quote "can we not just lay down some newspapers or something?"
I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
I'm usually good at keeping a straight face, but not while singing a ballad to a stranger in a bathroom.
Have you ever thrown up in the middle of your hair appointment? Cause I have..
I don't know what else to tell you.. just listen to some taylor swift and you'll know what to do in the morning
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