I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
when i'm drunk i think im just gonna point at him and yell adultery is a sinnnn. youre going to helllll
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
Also since my birthday I've on average fucked a new guy every 12.5 days. I'm doing an excel spreadsheet
my favorite homeless guy just told me I drive like Batman, achievement unlocked
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
I JUST HAD A FLASH MEMORY OF DOING A SHOT OF WHISKEY WITH MY BEER YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO PUNCH ME IN THE FACE TO PREVENT THAT FROM HAPPENING.
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
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