I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up with his wallet, but not him. Gold-digging at it's finest.
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
For the record, just because I'm a mess doesn't mean I don't know what I'm talking about when I give you advice. I'm way better at other people's lives.
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
You still owe me one bodily function mess clean up.
You pee on the floor one time and you never hear the end of it...
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