i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
fuck the hobbit
what about unicorns?
fuck those pointy horses
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
Do you think my laundromat will notice that the bloodstain on my sheets is in the shape of a face?
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
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