Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
Tequila is the liquid version of celery. I lose more calories during tequila drunk and the following sexual activities than I gain by drinking it...
He was waring a speedo fashioned out of american flag bandanas and when he got hard he said "you're such a patriot...raising the american flag like that"
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
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