I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
i'm pretty sure i just ruined some dude's romantic riverside sunset proposal by running outside and puking in a bush.
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
Postcard from jail please. Reserving a spot on my fridge.
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
A dude I dated in high school just put a status about National Coming Out day. I checked his relationship status. He is dating a dude. Hello, Friday.
He asked me if I wanted to blow his whistle and proceeded to pull out an actual whistle.
AMERICA LOVES YOU. RIDE THAT DICK LIKE PAUL REVERE RODE HIS HORSE SO MANY YEARS AGO
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