I threw up under water while wearing a hockey helmet last night. Awesome.
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
so literally, as soon as i tripped and fell and hit the floor the earthquake started. hows THAT for a self esteem boost?
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
I sign my lease Thursday, I'm about to be released back into the wild.
I'll make missing person signs.
You're a good friend.
Vibrator fell off the top of the dresser and hit me. This might be the most embarrassing black eye incident ever
Don't drink and try to take a shower. I thought I was drowning
Randomize
