Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
someone should tell her that easter eggs aren't meant to be dildos.
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
It's 4PM and I'm finally awake.. I'm covered in dog fur and shame. I'd say it counts as a good night.
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
It's amazing how many friends she makes simply by carrying that flask of whiskey everywhere she goes.
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
Remind me again why sleeping with a coworker and his wife would be a terrible idea.
Gold rum. Strong marijuana. Jabba the Hut in stilettos. Deep thigh bruise. Yes, thal all happened. Sorry dude.
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
2:23 am. Im just at McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, paying in nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
2:26 am. Im just being thrown out of McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, without my nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
the girl who hid my weed when the cops came has a birthday coming up. i feel like i should get her something.
Randomize
