My mom's crying. That means it must be Christmas.
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
Fell in the ditch running from the pizza guy I stole the pizza from. If you are still at my house come find me, pretty sure I need stitches.
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And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
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Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
On a unprofessional note, there's a new girl in photo.
That wasn't unprofessional. The fact that I'm going to fuck her is unprofessional.
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
His mom let me come to his house for a Booty call at 4am. She even cooked us breakfast in the morning and told me im a better moaner than his girlfriend of 4yrs.
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
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