dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
last night they convinced you that a sharpie was a new style of chap stick... so when you wake up, you might want to do something about that
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
I feel like there should be a database and you screen your boyfriend's scrotum and all the fucked up shit they've done goes on file.
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
She text me that night and asked how the dick was and I quote my drunk self "average at best"
I woke up to the smell of shame and vomit in my hair... went to the bathroom to shower and passed out... woke back up naked with the blow dryer on... thanks for making my birthday a success
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
They left me at home... I'm a liability
Help. Why am I so naked?
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