also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
I made friends with a raccoon. I pet it. Like I was Pocahontas.
i left after you tried to balance a shot of tequila on your head while screaming at the bar tender that you fucked his girlfriend
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
Her voice kills me. Its the perfect pitch to fuck with my hangover.
I'll text you later. I think she thinks we're taking this whole "no sex" thing seriously.
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
When I type "sleep" my phone suggests "with Trevor". My phones an asshole.
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
I just set my mike's hard down and didn't want it to spill, so I held my finger up and told it to shoosh. I'm drunk.
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
Randomize
