I dont have enough money in my bank account to buy a pregnancy test. this wouldnt be the first time ive had to steal one either...
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
My professor just gave us a margarita recipe.
Why?
Because, and I quote, he "wants to give us the tools to succeed in life."
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
he stole a smokey from the street meat vendor and put it in his pocket when she wasn't looking and now we're drinking avocado margaritas
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
Randomize
