Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
Our relationship is like that beach boys song "help me Rhonda" and I'm fucking Rhonda. And Rhondas's the whore in case you've never heard it.
How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
I just found your spare underwear and the half eaten granola bar you left in my purse.
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
How do I know I'm high? Let me count the ways.
1. I put the milk in the cupboard, 2. Everything tastes fucking amazing, 3. My dog is really soft, 4. The lunesta butterfly flew out of my tv and touched me
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
I wish you could see all the crumbs in my bra....it looks like Hansel & Gretel got lost in my cleavage.
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
Randomize
