Just made out with a pet sitter. His biz card says "even hamsters". Lowest point in my life.
Michael Bay diarrhea
note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
I think the best part was the fact that the stripper's lock screen was a picture of the virgin mary
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
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