Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
I was trying not to text you this weekend, so I deleted your number when I was sober. Then auto restore at midnight. It was like drunk magic
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
Like if there was an award for best way to take a girls virginity, he would get a standing ovation. And first prize. Probably a bunch of roses too. That good.
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
I'm stoned as hell watching the new Star Trek movie. My life is 110% better than it was an hour ago.
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
Please god tell me you aren't pregaming your date alone.
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
Randomize
