Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
i actually looked down at my cock today and said "whoa buddy, you need a haircut....(grimace) and a shower"
I looked at her and said "I now pronounce you pumpkin tits"
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
I'm not mad at you for letting me use my air mattress as a toilet, i'm mad at you for letting me lay back down on it.
Its not often you get to say, "The security guard at my job is my new drug dealer," but as of last night, I get to say it.
Probably won't be invited back there again considering last time his purebred corgi ate my pot brownie and had to be rushed to the hospital.
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
Randomize
