I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
How in the hell did I take a shot of whiskey to the eyeball last night?
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
If I don't get my shit together, I'm going to be one of those really fucked up cases on 1000 ways to die
You left something at the house but since I'm back home now so I can just mail it over. Address?
I didn't realize you could put dignity in a box these days.
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
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