glad my latex allergy prevents me from being a one-night stand whore
he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
Can we comment on the fact that at five thirty this morning, security woke me up in the hotel lobby, in my underwear, and some random guys winter coat?
Why are you covered in frosting?
Friend's birthday situation turned into enlightened cake orgy.
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
Been smoking since 4. The inevitable finally happened: I bought a cheesecake.
Randomize
