my best friend tried to rape me with a pineapple
I just lost $50 at the races, got drunk, and woke up to my ex-gf. Apparently the good decisions kept on rolling...
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
Uhh... I think I meant "Be proud, I'm taking shots before my public speaking test." "Coffee and vodka is not good" and "Also, I'm giving blood drunk."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
All of my exes are either overweight and neckbearded or dead. Someone out there is looking out for me.
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Randomize