i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
who knew "i drink your milkshake" would work as a pickup line
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
she went apple picking. why dont we do cute things like that? let's go to a pumpkin patch!
because we're not cute. we're sluts. and sluts don't go apple picking.
We gotta make a movie eventually. All good, long-lasting relationships include a homemade porno
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
i finally decided to cut him off after he he looked me dead in the eyes and said "how have i been inside you for the past twenty minutes when my pants are still on?"
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
Randomize
