You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
Considering showing up at your house with coronas. I'll be wearing a sombrero and that's it.
Party city is having a sale on maracas
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
Then you're three pancakes deep in regret.
I invited him to my hotel room via snapchat. I'm one hell of a classy bitch
I would've fucked Winston Churchill - rode that D like I was going into battle.
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
Randomize
