That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
just threw the rents a curveball by making french toast and bacon when i came home sober. good luck tellin when im high/drunk now.
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
From now on, you must never doubt my ability to go from drunken rambling lovesick girl to Stepford wife within the course of a few hours.
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
I stole all of the toasting champagne and did an interpretive dance to "wind beneath my wings". I am literally everything you're not supposed to do at weddings.
But your showmanship is impeccable.
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
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