I'm surprised I didn't puke tonight
Ambien. No doubt about it.
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
His mom walked into the kitchen smiling, made a scotch on the rocks, hit my bong, and told us goodnight enthusiastically. He's suddenly more appealing to me.
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
... Already stepped in vomit and got a dirty look from a fat in a neck brace
My high school reunion is Thursday so I need to find an outfit that says "Haha, you got fat and I got tits. Suck it, bitches."
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
There's a Taco Bell quesadilla in my shower caddy right now.
You were out of control then you fell asleep on his lap for 30 min and woke up civil. Way to powernap to sobriety!
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
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