i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
It feels like Jesus smacked me in the face with the new testament for drinking so much last night
A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him
She showed up to the party with a live octopus and a 30 pack that was already half gone
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
im at work. we just had a random 14-year-old amish girl come in and gift us with cinnamon rolls as thanks for letting her use the bathroom. i dont even know.
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher.
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
Look, when i woke up this morning, I had every intention of being a responsible twenty-five year old, cleaning up, making my budget, and filing my taxes. Its just I got siderailed by pot and downloading classic Disney songs, because fuck adulthood; everyone loves Disney.
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
I swear I'm going to walk in one day with you in a ballgag just masturbating feverishly
Well i can't stand the sound of my own crying
Randomize
