you dont want to live with me, im always naked, a chronic masturbator, a bit of a voyeur and will likely touch you while you sleep. ps- i can pick locks
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
birth control should be required to get into college
I need to stop sleeping with republicans and cowboys fans.
bouncer thought i was tryin to get the license plate numbers of strippers to stalk them. I had to go show him where I threw up to get back in.
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
Your dignity remains intact. He, on the other hand, is completely convinced he slept with your cat.
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
Why are you there anyways?
Pickin up ball pit balls from craigslist
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
We knew we were dealing with a pro when some random guy at the bar thew you over his shoulder and you still didn't spill your drink
Strangely enough, that's not the first time that's happened
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
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