Remember that time i walked in on your friend taking a huge shit?
Remember that time you hooked up with him?
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
My parents showed me my IQ test from fourth grade, I'm shitting on my potential.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
I've been on this train for an hour and this women has been on the phone and all she's said is "guuurrrrrlllll, gurl, gurl." I may commit suicide.
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
I don't think I'm ever gonna need a boyfriend again. I have a body pillow, a vibrator, and I'm strong enough to open my own jars.
I passed up getting laid last night. It's almost been a YEAR - what the Hell was I thinking, being so choosy??
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