I just pynch a tree in the face
So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
I drank almost a whole fifth last night. Woke up with blood everywhere wearing a "stereotype this" tshirt. How fitting
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
he told me he saved a turtle in the middle of the road.. i told him id be over in ten minutes...i mean he deserves a bj after that.
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
Theres a handprint of sauce on my frig, one streaked across my face, a trail of it to my bedroom and sauce all in my bed and i have no idea what the fuck i ate.
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
Just woke up in a Price Chopper bathroom stall with a half eaten cake on the floor. Had to get a ride from the waitress I made out with. What happened to "Don't let me drink Tequila?"
I lied.
I have a cheeseburger in my purse and im going to fill her prescription for narcotics. Who thought i was responsible enough to sign her discharge papers?
Randomize
