you know you are hungover when... you set your alarm for the next time you think you are going to throw up
Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
No more co-pays for contraceptives. Whoever says Obama is a bad guy has clearly never had a pregnancy scare.
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
So the bar crawl I'm on is a "90s bar crawl" and I made the joke about a few overweight girls that "lack of concern for your weight is so 90s" it did not end well
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
Randomize
