I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
Picture the opening band right now: euro, beer guts, one member in oversized hipster lumberjack apparel, the other in childsized american apparel and shorts. Singing in german.
Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
A zombie called me motorboat central while participating in an auction to motorboat my tits. he then proceeded to propose, insisting that he makes alot money.
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
I found your wallet in my underwear drawer......... Don't worry I don't plan on asking any questions
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
.... I'm on a random couch somewhere in Newark wrapped in a Lightning McQueen blanket
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
We can only continue to use the "oh what's the difference between circumcised and uncircumcised" for a few more months before people will see through our lies
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
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