yo - did your mom get a boob job (I think she did)
I hate babysitting girls whose boobs are bigger than mine.
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
I just dropped a paperclip into my cleavage while talking to the company president... That's an awkward moment.
Did you at least offer to let him get it out??
Do you think I could get someone from tinder to drive me to the airport?
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
I just took a condom out of my purse and opened it in front of my entire family because I thought it was a wetnap. Way too hungover for family brunch.
im on a boat
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