my head looks like a cockatoo
mine looks like a lions mane...looks like the entire zoo is going to prom
Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
Wanna smoke some ancient weed I just found in a box of cake mix?
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
He has no idea I'm scrolling through Instagram while he's going down on me. I'm so bored.
I gotta stop fucking the bouncers. We are running out of bars to go to.
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
when she didn't finish her burrito you wanted to call the cops because you said it was neglect
Randomize
