The good thing about walking home in a dress on sunday morning is that people mistake my walk of shame as a walk to God.
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
i only stock magnum condoms so if the guy i bring home doesn't fit in them he only gets to eat me out. no exceptions.
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
I spilled a whole plate of queso and salsa on my bed so I'm just eating it off my sheets with chips. How's your night going?
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