there is a puppy in the bar... no really i didnt steal this one
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
He asked me when I was coming to bed while simultaneously drilling a fart into the mattress. Don't fucking get married.
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
I need to calm my uterus...
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
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