i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
You came on your own forehead. Just wanted to remind you that.
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
Sorry for punching you in the face last night. I should have known the boxing gloves were a bad idea from the start.
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
The dog just sneezed and it sounded like a person, after I said bless you I freaked the fuck out and got the gun
Just came to the realization that what I thought were orgasms were just lightheadedness from hyperventilation. My entire sex life is a lie.
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
Good rule of thumb: only list personal references with whom you have hallucinated
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
When I get off work and you're not around to hang out with all I do is lay around in my underwear and eat potatoes.
I'm hiding in my office refusing to turn the light on holding puke down stealing and shoveling down the meeting snacks and regretting my poor life choices. goldfish crackers are like crack to me right now. how is your day?
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