do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
o shit let me call u back theres a hamburger in my pocket
I'm so drunk I cant read cursive anymore.
Just saw the true definition of the muffin top and camel toe all on one person at the DC zoo... Tried to take a pic but she got away..
It's my fault I'm alone. My closest relationship is with my blackberry....thank god it vibrates.
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
I don't need a lecture. I'm 41. I know I'm an idiot.
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
i ran into the Jo the housecleaner earlier this morning. i mentioned i had a little hangover and she asked what the occasion was.. i replied "Tuesday" without thinking. she judged the shit out of me.
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
