her vagine was all disorganized.
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
Just used my flashlight app to find a gummy lifesaver I dropped on the floor
I like how you're utilizing your resources
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
I’m sorry, some of us common-folk don’t have access to steady dick
Randomize
