return my video game
I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
She's locked herself in the bathroom with a tub of icecream and she's watching my little pony on her phone. We know it cause she sings with them.
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
I feel like I should be doing a victory lap around my house to the rocky music, or zapping and smiting people with my mystic wizard powers
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
You were so drunk you coat checked your shoe... Not even both of them. Just one shoe.
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
A dozen fresh-baked cookies delivered to my dorm AND I don't have chlamydia or gonorrhea... Could this night get any better??
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
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