this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
insurance, jail, and birth control were made for people like us.
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.
He kept pouting and saying i cockblocked him and I kept yelling "I'm sorry...but the cock was never out to be blocked"
I woke up with a stapler in my ass. Don't even complain to me.
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
Should probably stop going into the gas station to look for the most normal person to hitch a ride with to drive me to a party
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
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