STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
I swear, if I find out you're lying, I'm going to put your name on one of those herpes watch websites and put the link up on every social networking site in existence.
I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
We should see who can shotgun a beer faster over iPhone FaceTime
it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral
by the time the kitchen caught on fire everyone was too drunk to be alarmed. the host just poured beer on it to put it out. how was yours?
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
Where are you? Your parents are here. Their flight got in early.
Trashy Tequila Tuesdays. Have them meet me here @ the bar.
I'm not sending your parents to see you drunk at a gay bar. What kind of boyfriend do you think I am?
A great one. Entertain them i'll be home soon....... I think
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
I had to break up with her. She was sending me study schedules and recipes for vegan lasagna. I’m just trying to survive man
I can’t tonight. I’ve got to see about a penis
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
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