Haym$ered
turn off your phone and go to bed
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
Well the pizza delivery man was either startled or incredibly intrigued to see me skateboarding in the living room by myself at 1 in the morning in ripped pantyhose
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
Last night did I take a piece of pizza out of your hand and then proceed to eat it?
Twice...
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
I should get an "I gave blood today" type of sticker, but instead it would say "I went balls deep today"
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
Dude, you were so drunk you were hanging from the ceiling of my car pretending you were a sloth while we were on 81.
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
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