I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
WHEN THE FUCK DID MCDONALD'S DECIDE TO QUIT SERVING BURGERS AT 1:00AM?
I would peed on everything
I can't remember dinner
Hahaha "rub in the ketchup on your face, It'll just look like blush." some gay waiter said that to you, and you go "good idea!"
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
So much Jack, so little girl.
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
Randomize
