all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
Oh shit. Easter I forgot. Maybe we should leave the illegal stuff for when Jesus is less present.
You spilled spaghetti on the floor, and kept telling the noodles to "settle down" as you tried to clean it up
Just watched a drug bust from the Ralphs parking lot while listening to Frank Sinatra. Happy Valentine's Day.
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
I don't think you understand. Its the best fauxhawk you've ever seen. I look like a gay dinosaur.
That's the most beautiful thing I've ever heard. Can I call you littlefoot?
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
I would literally only have sex with a dinosaur right now.
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