Strawberries are so good its weird that food is growable
I'm still trying to decide if it's a complement when he said "I'd like to subscribe to your daddy issues".
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
I'm gonna let my dick speak for itself from now on. Seriously, it's always recruiting for me even after 6 hours of drinking.
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
Why are there so many fucking Lambchop puppets hidden around my house?!
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
Randomize
