I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
You closed the sidewalk off to pedestrians last night. With a glitter covered safety cone
it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
spending today hungover and untagging myself from all the pictures of me kissing girls so grandma doesnt have a heart attack. how was your new years?
I'm eating cake, naked, in bed. I am GREAT at being single.
She said I had a really great aura. Which I think is hippie code for "I bet you can give me a mind melting orgasm"
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
I had a dream that you were telling me how good you are at parkour and legit you were doing it just like Michael Scott...
Do you remember feeding the vacuum doritos last night?
Randomize
