just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
How does, "Im sorry I was such an intoxicated bitch, I didn't mean anything I said" sound as an apology.
NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
He says I tipped the waitress ten dollars because she "smelled like pigs in a blanket."
Fuck I am starving. I don't think I've eaten in the past two days.
You didnt need to. Gin is like eggs, its a perfectly nutrionally balanced meal.
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
OMG MY DAD TOLD ME HE MIGHT DO TINDER
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
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