it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
I just used my AAA membership to fix a strippers flat tire in return for a lapdance...does that make me a bad person?
I need to ask my mom where the drain cleaner is, but I'm afraid she'll ask why and the answer to that will just be "cum."
There's s woman at the corner of the bar dancing by herself in her seat and making eye contact with me. Please hurry.
I don't understand why she gets annoyed by my drunk texts. It means she's who I'm thinking about even when my brain isn't functioning properly.
I made one of my coworkers cheers to me not being pregnant. I've never talked to him before tonight. Keeping it classy.
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
She fucked my eyebrows.. I've never had that done before.
Wait... Plucked, or Fucked?
Fucked, but I understand your need to clarify
Just try and act like you're sober
I can't I snorted an anti depressant and he's pouring me tequila shots
Randomize
