well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
True but thats because hes a fetus.
my phone needs a breathalizer
He came on my face and told me I looked like a gingerbread house.
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
I have no idea why I said that. I have no idea why anything happened last night, I broke my toaster making a egg. I'm going to quit drinking.
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
Just so you know, I choose to answer your bootytext tonight because it was the most creative.
Randomize
