my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
the arrest was probably divine intervention, cause i think we were heading to an ill-advised threesome.
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
I asked a lamppost to be my valentine. Also: I'm wearing a sombrero. We need more sombrero in our lives.
You called your ex's vag an "AIDS Pinata". Drunk You is the Hulk Hogan of insults.
Ahh you know it's going to be a long day when you mistake a beer for a sprite at 10:30 in the morning while babysitting
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
Yeah we were on bar number 7 on our bike trail and you decided to steal my bike and we found you 20 minutes later eating Cheetos in the shallow end of your parents pool
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
If anyone needs me I'll be in the bathtub, eating fast food and shooting straight vodka while I seriously evaluate my life choices and cry.
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