did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
We named our party play list daddy issues
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
Just pulled over to throw up in a day care parking lot while the kids were outside playing. The adults were mortified.
i feel like god sat there all night pointing and laughing at me
if there weren't so many witnesses I 100% wouldve punted that squirrel
Just walked out of my apartment and came face to face with a shirtless dude playing with his balls and trying to tie his shoes.
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
I'm not trying to be dramatic but if someone makes you choose between getting a Brazilian or dying. For the sake of your sanity just fucking die
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
Randomize
