What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
just realized I'm too high to take the plastic off a slice of cheese....
his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
Had a dream I was a monkey and smoked pot out of a bong made out of a tree
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
luckily my workout playlist doubles as a masturbation playlist.
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
Discovered that a nalgene holds an entire bottle of wine. Going mobile. Come find me.
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
Favorite thing said to me in 2012: It's like you have two tongues!
Were you keeping a list?
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
The nice lady at the neighborhood liquor store informs me that we have a new woman-run neighborhood sex shop. Jesus loves me and wants me to have a happy Valentine's day.
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
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