WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
it was just fiscally responsible to stop going to strip clubs where the strippers recognized me
Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table
He asked me where I wanted it. I told him in the condom. He stops mid thrust and says "you're no fun" and then blew. Chivalry is semi dead.
Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
Randomize
