when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
I just finished deleting miscellaneous contacts from my phone ... time for a HIV test!
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
Can you come unlock the door? I just peed myself on the porch.
You're the best thing in my life, followed closely by cannabis and trashy romance novels
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
I'm so high that a guy on TV just sneezed and I said "bless you."
Tell me I'm drunk and you have to come get me. It's usually true. They'll believe you.
Randomize