There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
I woke up this morning to 4 booty call texts. So i am trying to find the sign that says i like to sit on cocks so that i can take it off.
trust me, i wonder where that sign is on a daily basis.
The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
She was blowing me like a porn star and all I could think was "you just told me your grandfather is dying in hospice right now"
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
Randomize
