What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
Dude.. You paid a stripper $50 to listen to you cry last night.
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
HOLY FUCK I JUST GOT WOKEN UP BY THUNDER!!!!!
I THINK I SHARTED
THERE IS A WINE CUBE IN MY ASS THIS IS NOT GOING AS PLANNED
There's a naked man in my car right now.
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
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